I don't like to need people.
It's not necessarily as decisive a tendency as that sentence made it sound. I didn't even realize this about myself until someone pointed it out to me. She told me to be careful, to remember and decide to let people in.
One area where I've learned to need people is in my schoolwork. Since coming to college, I've gotten help with writing papers, calculus homework, critical reading.
Two weeks ago, I tried out a new type of help. I went to the Academic Success Center. Technically I work for the Academic Success Center. I also work as a tutor at the writing center. But I had five papers due in the upcoming weeks, and I was paralyzed, so I wasn't getting work finished on any of them. And I knew that if something didn't change, my grades weren't going to be what I wanted. So I emailed the Academic Success Center and asked to meet with someone.
That's not the only reason I went to the center. I also went because I knew that if I went, it would free other people to go. I knew that the hardest part of working at a place like that is actually getting people take advantage of what you're offering. I knew that help centers seem scary but usually aren't, and I knew that the people who work there are enthusiastic and passionate about helping students. So I went to the Academic Success Center so that I could tell people about it. I went so I could tell people that I needed help, and got help, and anyone else can do the same.
The Academic Success Center couldn't do the work for me (sad, I know). But I knew that, and what they did was the next best thing. What they did was way more planning than I was accustomed to putting into a paper: they had me write out every single step for every single paper, how much time each step would take, and when each day I would complete that step. This was fantastic because all I had to do was stick to the plan, and I knew my work would be accomplished. Because every day had a task, the whole mass of papers was more manageable. I no longer had to manage five papers, but one section of writing or one category of research.
So I'm still bad at needing people emotionally, but scholastically, lemme tell you, get yo self some help! It's . . . helpful!
