bye, fake world!:'(

I just deleted my Instagram account.
Deleted, like, forever.
It makes me kinda sad! I had lots of happy things on it, lots of things I loved, and now all of it is gone forever!
Well, that's not true. Because Instagram was not the real thing. It may have been keeping the memory alive in a way that people could look at it if they went to my profile, but the memory would have been saved in the picture whether I posted it or not, and the experience would have been experienced whether I captured it in a picture or not. See, my personal hypotheses that "instagram is a fake world" and therefore you do not have to follow people back if you don't want to convicted me (well, the Holy Spirit convicted me) that Instagram, a fake world, does not need such a hold on my real world. So now it's gone. Bye.
To be honest, I kind of miss it! (wow, self. come on. it's been like two minutes). But here's the thing. Now people can't randomly insta-stalk me for pics of my life. Now I don't have a forum for feedback on how awesome I can make my life look in a square on a screen. Now my phone will not be half so entertaining, because I know myself too well to get a twitter and I don't have any other social networks I use regularly. Now people will ask my why I got rid of my instagram, and I'll have to tell them that the Holy Spirit convicted me that it was something that needed to happen. That a social network was too big a deal for me and was skewing how I looked at people and I needed to delete it. But now it's gone, and that's good. Because, the Holy Spirit reminded me, if I kept it when I knew I should delete it, nothing I posted on it in the future could be purely and fully glorifying to Him. If it needed to be gone, then it needed to be gone, and I needed to let it go.
And now it's gone. Let's go live some now. Let's have a picnic and not worry about standing on my tip toes over the blanket to get the perfect picture of the perfect moment. Let me call a friend on their birthday instead of posting a picture or write them a letter or give them a donut. Let me show people my heart in real life so they don't know more about who I am from reading my tender captions and seeing how often I post about certain things than they know about me from actually being around me.
I know that Instagram is not a sin, but you'd have a hard time convincing me that it doesn't have a detrimental affect on our minds. Mostly because it's hurt me and how I look at people, and if I want to look and instantly love, I don't need to have preconceptions about numbers of followers or misconceptions about who people know. I needed to get rid of mine. I've tried before to just follow fewer people or have it on my phone less often, but this time I needed to delete it.
bye, fake, virtual profile.
I hope I love people better because of this. bye.
Also, I'll probably get stuck up because I deleted my Instagram. Because that's my sin nature, taking an act of begrudging obedience and turning it into a glorying martyrdom. [a virtual world. come on, self.] That's me, so I'm warning you. If I tell you about it, please say something to keep me humble. Like "oh." or "that's a pathetic struggle and if you have to do something like that to defeat it, whatever. I'm over here literally carrying a cross and Instagram is nothing to me. come on, maddieperkie. pick it up." Not because that's an appropriate attitude to have towards someone's struggle (at all), but because I need to not be praised, be the opposite of praised, because I'll probably be praising myself enough. Pride is dumb and I suggest avoiding it. As well as, possibly, avoiding Instagram.

Saturday

hooray for our weekly review of beautiful things! this was my last full week at school; by this post next week I'll be leaving for my summer job the next day! 

This was a tea for young girls at my church I went to last Sunday. They sent me home with dozens of extra tiny cupcakes, so a few days later I went to the library with a friend and handed them out to studying people! It was so fun!

This is my sweet friend Hannah. Her birthday isn't until the summer, so we had a surprise-early-birthday party for her at the ice cream shop. 

One of my friends is transferring next fall, so we went downtown for dinner to hang out. I know Bham's downtown isn't comparable to huge cities', but I love it; there's a lot of great places down there. 

 I shared with y'all on Instagram some pictures of the sweets I made this night. Here's the dinner I made and the lovely sweet ladies I ate it with. I took a picture during the prayer (ssh! don't tell!), and you can see how exultant Mary is when she talks to Christ. It's beautiful. She was a missionary for 34 years in Japan. I overheard (when I was in the kitchen later) her telling one of the women, "they have four-step plans to teach salvation, but life doesn't follow a four-step plan.  So what I taught people was that you can have a relationship with Christ and know him. That is what is important."

I know I shared this with y'all on instagram, but this week my work was published!! This is the Journalism department's publication of short stories, poetry, and photography. EEEPPP!!PUBLISHED!! Thanks to the Holy Spirit for teaching me this lesson as I wrote this poem. It's because of Your Truth that it exists. 

My ballet final was Thursday (it went well!) and our teacher brought us donuts for a great year. So here's our sweaty bodies and happy donuts!

MY 10 PAGE PAPER IS FINISHED AND TURNED IN!! If you ever want to know anything about Augustine and Achilles' similar relationships, ya let me know. These are alllll the books I used. This moment was so victorious.

This week/weekend has involved lots of note deliveries (accompanied by baked goods of course!) to people who have blessed me in my time in Birmingham. God has set up so many divine appointments, providing for me at every turn. I'm thankful for relationships with people. Because, as I wrote in my paper, relationships are essential to the human condition. And I didn't have any here in August, and it's May now and I almost cry when I think about leaving. I'm thankful for the Lord's faithfulness in that.

I stopped by Birmingham Fashion Wwek. Not much was happening when I was there, though. But I said I would, and I did! Those fashion resolutions are another matter...

Also last night, I hammocked with some girls and spent the night in one of their rooms. 

Last week of freshman year? Bring it on. 

My closings seriously need some help. Any recommendations? Anyone?

Recommendation: The Pioneer Woman

Happy Thursday!

I have decided to use today's post to briefly alert you to the existence of a wonderful blog. I understand that this is backwards, because instead of my millions of followers following her and getting her blog off the ground, my 0 followers have probably already heard and . . . yeah. But she's wonderful, and she's one of the first blogs I followed, so here's a list of great things about her blog via pictures:

This brownie recipe. Reese's INSIDE brownie batter. Genius, I know. I made these for a group of 40 friends this week, and it was so quick and easy! They're wrapped in foil on the right side of this insta picture. 

RIDICULOUS dessert recipes (sorry, I don't know where this all-caps mood came from!). I scrolled for so long that I finally had to just pick something. Because I couldn't pick everything. And her posts are humorous and happy and human and wonderful. I have a feeling she would have something funny to say about that succession of adjectives. But that's okay.

She also does sick giveaways! 

And posts funny pictures of her dog . . .

and kids.

She also has quizzes about movies that I haven't seen or heard of. But the quizzes are fun I'm sure and have cool prizes! Ah I need to do something on here with prizes! If you exist, you'd be sure to win, probably!

And her recipes. For everything. Are wonderful.

Ree is wonderful, and her dear heart shows in her blog. Check it out: thepioneerwoman.com

Happy [Thursday]!

In the Gap: Dance

Well, the point of having Wednesdays is so that I'd show y'all choreography. And it didn't have to be polished, it just had to be done. So here you go: me being imperfect.

Fashion on Tuesday

With the Met Gala last night, today's post could hardly be about anything else! Birmingham fashion week is this Saturday, so I may try to squeeze in another post before then about, as I shared on Instagram, my "fashion resolutions," but for now I'll share my favorite looks from last night's ball.
I took these pictures from google images. Thank you, lovely paparazzi. I hope you had a blast shooting the Met Gala red carpet
I was wondering what I would say about what I liked and why. Because though fashion is certainly art, I think it's also somewhat a science. And I don't know how valid my opinion from either of those standpoints is, so I shall merely report from my "taste." ((see in the gap video!! my fav!!))

ZENDAYA

zenSLAYa. I just lovedddd this. The volume, the train, the hair. Yes.

I find this cape fabulous. And very Rihanna. So much of fashion is expressing >you<rself, so I'm a fan! Also, I find the flamboyancey perfect for the MET Gala. I'm not sure about the front, so I just picked a side view! 

Two reasons I picked this: Valentino & Eddie Redmayne. And Hannah looks beautiful in it. Approval!

One word: GODDESS. (this is Kate Hudson. All I know about Kate Hudson is that she killed #METGala2k15)

"Karen Elson." Hello. I don't know who you are. I do know that you killed the theme, rocked a crown, and werked a D&G corset. Nice work.

Emily Ratajkowski. You look stunning. Who are you? Let's be friends?

Alison Williams. Well red+waistline+tulle+ballgown skirt+modest=a VERY charlie outfit. Beautiful! And Alison had one of my favorite Oscars dresses this year, too! Props, girl. You win.

You know me. Well you don't. BUT one thing about me is that I love menswear. And I like Jbieb's look here. Sunnies and shoes and jacket and shirt. Not sure about the cummerbund thing, so I just didn't look too close. 

Hi, Gong Li. You look beautiful. You slayed.

Alexa Chung. Way to bring in the bright colors without looking out of place! I like it! It fits the theme well, is a cute dress, and I like the blue shoes. Hair pulled back was a good move too. Mind if I borrow sometime? 

So there you have it. My #METGala2k15 fashion picks. Excited for #bhamfashionweek this weekend? So am I!

Sabbath Ponderings: List of Three

A short list:

I love worship songs. And even though I go to a conservative Baptist church here in the great state of Alabama, I close my eyes when I sing. I like it better like that. 

Today after church there was a tea for young girls and their mothers. They invited me, then sent me home with dozens of extra mini cupcakes and cookies and brownies! Hooray! I'm hoping to take them to the library tomorrow and share them with studying people. The church blesses me over and over; it never ceases to amaze me. 

I'm reading Ezekiel today in my continued quest to finish the Bible before kamp, and one of the sins of Israel which it bewails is desecration of the Sabbath. In 22:26, it mentions this along with failure to distinguish between holy and common or clean and unclean as something that results in God being profaned among them. Just thought the correlation between that and today's blog plan was interesting enough to note. 

happy day,
charlie (it's still me, maddie! just over here complicating things by a defunct pen name.)

Friday: Messay

Today's Friday-creative-writing is my letter-graduation-gift-most-recent-blessing-box. I won't try to explain it. It may explain itself, or maybe not. If not, ask a question! You'd be my first comment! 

There you go. It's definitely imperfect in lots of ways, but it's also beautiful in lots of ways. Isn't that the struggle of being human. 

There you go. Me being whimsical, typical. 

Also, going inside places and asking for stuff is a funny experience. The most eager was ALoft, the most confused was Edgewood Creamery (the boy said I talked too quickly), and the most victorious was the Library (they don't give out blank library cards to just anyone, you know.). 

I need to develop a sign-off.