Recommendations: Christmas Gifts

Hey fam!

Here's a mood-board what-I'm-feeling-this-season list of some fun lil things I've been keepin' an  eye on recently. Which is the blogger-trying-to-not-be-narcissistic way of saying this is a list of what I want for Christmas.

That's it. Not super exciting post today, but I liked the experience of doodling the list. It makes me wish I were better at doodling. 

Messay: Business Fashion

I found this quote in an interview in InStyle (December '16) with Donatella Versace:

"What are some ways a woman can dress today to look powerful that are different from the conventional power suit?"

"The old idea was really just about copying the wardrobe of men. The power suit was the female version of men's tailoring, and if you think about it, because it was a copy, it still suggested that women were not equal to men. That will never be the case again. The backbone of [my] fall collection is powerful tailoring. I don't want to call it "masculine" tailoring anymore. It's not masculine; it's for women on their own terms."

I loved this when I discovered it because it expresses so well my thoughts on women in business. This summer at my internship, I wore whatever I wanted to. Though my mom made me shop for grown-up clothes before I headed to Dallas (all of which I returned once I got there), and though my aunt said I wore "ballerina dresses," I continued to wear whatever I wanted. Here was my (audacious? or stupid) logic: Because I was the intern, getting me in trouble for what I was wearing would only hurt whomever scolded me—if they fired me, they wouldn't have anyone to do the tiny tasks for them. So I staunchly wore what I wanted, confident that my value was in the work I was doing rather than the clothes I was wearing.

This is an unusual attitude in the corporate world, though I find that this flagrancy of self-expression is common in other places in America's job market. This attitude was given its most fulfilling culmination in a comment from a male coworker one day, a comment that gives me hope in the flexibility and kindness businessmen to funky businesswomen.

I was in the break room, refilling coffee or eating lunch. I had never seen or talked to him, but I hear:
"Canvas roll-top sneakers and an emerald crushed velvet dress. Thank you."

What.
Yes.

He proceeded to tell me that he appreciated that I wore whatever I wanted. He said that women had so much more freedom than men in wardrobe choices, and he was happy to finally see someone taking advantage of it.

I love this man.
I have no clue who he is, but I love him for being aware, for the compliment, for telling me about a paisley shirt he wore once and got an inordinate number of comments on, for being conversant about gender roles and stereotypes in the business world today.

So thanks and praise to you, random man. And thanks to you, Versace, for saying in one answer what I thought about for a whole month.

Long live tulle skirts and combat boots, or whatever is "wrong" for business situations,
May it be deemed "right" before too long,
Charlie

Messay: Being Alone

When I was at Walden, I read a quote from Thoreau and thought, “Yes. Exactly. Yes.” So I decided it was my quote for the day, took a picture, and went out to the pond. Here it is:

"I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude."

That paragraph resonates with me. I love to be alone, and go places alone, and I consider the ability to be alone a strength. 

But I overcompensate. For example: I picked that as my quotation for the day I visited Walden, but I was visiting with my little sister. I enjoyed the experience more because I had someone to fangirl with. Yet I still picked that (dare I say) self-righteous quote from Thoreau as my quote to think on.

Recently, I’ve realized that I over-glorify solitude. Although always needing someone is a weakness, obsessing over independence can also be done to a fault. One of my mom-friends who I’ve worked for at kamp was one of the first people I heard this from. She told me that I wasn’t good at needing people, and it was something I needed to learn. I’ve also seen this in the point I’m at in college: Freshman year I had no friends, sophomore year I was just excited to have any friends, but junior year, I’ve begun to feel the strains of overcommitting. I am naturally inclined to go wide and shallow—to have many friendships that don’t go deep. I was feeling the exhaustion of too many relationships without depth.

My love of aloneness began when I got to college. I would get in my car and go to dinner or sit at a coffee shop just because I could, just to recharge from being tired of being around people. I realized after a while that this was not something everyone could do—many people needed someone with them all the time. I embraced it as a kind of superpower, reveling in my alone adventures all around the Ham. As I adventured, the city became my own: I found places where my soul could rest. 

So when I read that quote from Thoreau—“I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time”—I immediately empathized with it, but I also felt a bit of bitterness in it, a bit of a lesson that I still have to learn. I’m not good at going to people when I actually do need them. For the first time in my life, I have someone I’m comfortable going to when I’m struggling. She’s my big in my sorority, and last November I was struggling with something so intensely and actually asked her to get coffee so we could talk about it. I knew that that was what I needed—just to talk about it—so that was what we did. 

But I’m still not good at going deep with people I love, I still don’t know what it means to have accountability, I’m still learning what it’s like to have friends pursue me as much as I pursue them. I think, then, that Thoreau’s quote represents an extreme that I don’t need to listen to. It’s easy for me to be alone, but I still need to learn to need people. 

To end this blog post in the typical way (or the Darling way, I'm not sure), here’s a thought provoking question (ha): 

Which side of the spectrum do you fall on—do you exercise aloneness not enough or too much?

all the love, 

charlie

Letters: Random Mail

I love letters. I think they're so important and such a good way to communicate. They're one of the ways I am able to express myself best. Here's a few letter's I've written. Enjoy them as a peek into my life, or as ideas for letters you need to write!


A thank-you note for the sweet friend who got me my summer internship:

A random note for a friend:

Notes I left all around Italy and Berlin:

and the one I was contacted about!

A note for a girl going on a mission trip, using ideas from this messay: 

 My mother's day card selections:

And these letters to kamp kounselors, upon the beginning of my term as a kamp kounselor, which you've seen before here:

Hope you enjoyed a little snapshot into my mailbox!

Travel: Paris in a Weekend

Paris in 1 Weekend: Top Picks

Latin Quarter

1. La Creperie. This my #1 favorite restaurant in the world. It’s in the Latin Quarter, which is where many universities are in the city. That's in the fifth arrondissement—an arrondissement is a district they divide the city into. I know how to use the word, but I don’t know how to say it. The whole city has 20, and they spiral out from the middle like a cinnamon roll. The first is near the Rue de Rivoli, which is where the Louvre and the Tuileries Gardens are!
   The address is 12 Rue Soufflot, 75005 Paris, France. **Don’t** go to “La Creperie Saint Germain,” or any other “La Creperie” in the whole city. This one is the one. And go hungry, because the best thing to do is to get a savory crepe for lunch, then a sweet one for dessert.

2. Le Jardin du Luxembourg. This my favorite park in Paris. There are fountains, ponds, tennis courts, seating areas, but the best part is the kid park in the middle. You have to pay a Euro or two to get in, but then there’s this zipline thing at the back that is absolutely singular and completely fun. Because it’s a kid park, you’ll wait in line with all the kids, but if it’s winter it shouldn’t be too crowded. My sophomore year roommate did the ride this summer because I told her to. She said it was worth it.

By the Island (the two islands in the middle of the Seine River)

1. Shakespeare & Company. This is the bookstore to visit in Paris. You will read and hear about it for the rest of your life. I know because I haven’t been yet . . . regrets. Just check out their Instagram and you will be converted: @shakespeareandcoparis
2. Berthillion. This is often called the best ice cream in Paris. Technically it’s “glaciers,” but I don’t know how that’s different from ice cream. It’s a ten-minute walk from Shakespeare and Company, and you walk right by Notre Dame to get there.
3. Notre Dame. Of course! It’s free and open every day from 8:00-6:45 (open till 7:15 on Saturday and Sunday). You can meet at the back of the cathedral behind the organ for a free guided tour at 2:30 on Monday, Tuesday, and Saturday or 2:00 on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I haven’t done this, so I don’t know whether to recommend the tour or just walking through on your own. I don’t think it will make a huge difference either way. I'd guess that if you want to fully appreciate it and really know what you’re looking at, then do the tour, whereas if you want to have flexibility in your schedule, just go walk around. Notre Dame is beautiful, and you’ve heard of it and know you need to go, but please don’t miss Sainte Chapelle (see next!).
4. Sainte Chapelle. This chapel is a two-minute walk from Notre Dame. It’s a beautiful church that most people miss, but it’s a shame because its stained glass is unbeatable. The main chapel is almost all windows, filtering down beautiful blue light, and the entrance has the most magical vaulted deep navy ceiling with stars painted on it. It’s either 8 or 10 euros to get in, but Notre Dame is free, so you can pretend it was 5 for each church and then it’s a steal.

Rue di Rivoli and the First Arrondissement

This area of Paris has so many things to do. I think I’d recommend spending Saturday here; starting with the Louvre, early lunching at Angelina’s, a walk through the Tuileries Gardens with stops at the carousel and Musee de l’Orangerie, and walking across the Seine to finish at Musee d’Orsay.

1. Angelina’s. This is first on this section’s list for a reason: Even though it’s not a big museum, it is an absolute necessity that you go here. People claim that this is the best hot chocolate in Paris, if not in the world. They’re absolutely right; European hot chocolate tastes like melted chocolate bars, not milk diluted with chocolate flavor. Angelina's also has lots of classic French pastries. You can get both pastries and hot chocolate to-go. You could also go for tea, where you wait in line to be seated, and you get to pick your pastries and drinks and snacks from a little booklet. They’re super busy all afternoon, so either get it to-go after the Lourve or Musee D’Orsay, or go for sit-down tea before 12:00 or between 6:00-7:00 (they close at 7). Your choice just depends how you want to spend your time. There’s also a bookstore, Librairie Galignani, right next door, so if you have to wait for a table at Angelina’s, maybe duck in here to enjoy the time.
2. Tuileries Gardens and the Carousel. This is one of the biggest gardens in Paris. It’s not my favorite to spend time in as much as Luxembourg, but its location is central. The best part is a carousel that only costs like 3 euros. It’s magical and fun, whether you watch or ride. But, of course, I ride. If you’re leaving Angelina’s, walk away from the Louvre and cross the Rue de Rivoli at the Rue de Castiglione, and you’ll find the carousel soon after entering the gardens. Taylor Swift has been there, here’s proof: https://twitter.com/taylorswift13/status/295578680812531713 
   As you walk through the gardens, toward the Seine away from Rue de Rivoli (after leaving the carousel), you’ll cross the Seine on a bridge (it’s sort of named Leopold Sedar Senghor, I think.). This bridge, when I was there summer 2015, was the new lock bridge—there had been a lock bridge, the government took it down, and this one became the new one. So you can buy a lock and lock it on the bridge and throw the key into the river and be all romantic and stuff. Or just take cool pictures.

3. Musee d’Orsay. There are three museums in this area, and this is easily and by far my #1. The first time I went to Paris, I didn’t know the Louvre was closed on Tuesday so I didn’t end up getting to go, but this museum kept me from hardly noticing. I’ll get to the Louvre in a second, but first, wow. This museum is in an old train station, which in itself is crazy beautiful. The best part of the museum is the Impressionist works, which are all the way to the back and up the stairs. THEY HAVE 81 RENOIRS AND 86 MONETS. ABSURD. If I were you, I would mosy through one side on the way to the Impressionist section, then mosy back through the other side on the way back to the front. My only super important works that aren’t in the Impressionist section are a few Van Gogh paintings (Self-portrait! And Starry Night over the Rhone, not the starry night but extremely pretty anyway). Whistler’s Mother is another famous painting, but I’m sure the little free pamphlet will help you hit the public's high notes. I can’t emphasize enough that the Impressionist section is where to focus your time. This is the largest collection of Impressionist works anywhere in the world (ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD). I was just googling the works they have and my soul was moving they are so incredible. My favorite Impressionist is Alfred Sisely, but of course Degas and Monet and basically everyone else thrill me too. The hour you spend here will be one of the most significant and crazy hours of your life, at least in relation to art and magic and pleasure. Also, at the very back of the exhibit is a restaurant, and if you sneak into the restaurant (everyone does it, no one cares) you can get to a door that goes onto a balcony with an incredible view—it overlooks the Seine, the Tuileries Gardens, Rue de Rivoli, and, in the distance, Sacre Coeur. It is an incredible view, don’t miss it. Oh dear. This paragraph is getting way too long, so let me just suggest buying your ticket online ahead of time (super easy from their website) and going to Entrance C (rather than the main one); this will be much faster. I’m not sure where Entrance C is, but, now that I think about it, I think you can go in at the main entrance (where the long line will be) but don’t wait in the long line (go in a different door), and you’ll hop the ticket line to go through security and enter the museum almost line-free. If that all sounds too complicated, waiting in the line shouldn’t take longer than a half hour!

4. Musee du Louvre. As they say, “you already know what it is.” This unbelievably vast, intensely famous museum is beautiful and magical and a little overwhelming. Honestly, none of the art here is really my favorite (a little dramatic, but you know what I mean.). After the Impressionists at d’Orsay, I don’t get quite as excited about anything else. There’s three ways I would suggest to do the Louvre. First, make sure you go in at the secret entrance (=no line. Here’s a really clear explanation; it’s #2 http://sightseekersdelight.com/guide-to-louvre-secret-entrances/). Grab a pamphlet, pick your top four or eight or however many things, and bounce from one to the other, appreciating everything you see on the walks in between. You can also do a guided tour; they cost an additional 9 or 12 euros, but they hit all the high notes and tell you about them on the way. These are offered at 11 and 2 every day, so make sure you’re inside with enough time to find the signs and get settled. My last tip is lame, but here it is: If you don’t go to the Louvre, you will be okay. You can visit the entrance—it’s connected to the Tuileries Gardens—look at the beautiful pyramids, take some pictures, and head over to de l’Orangerie or d’Orsay. I’m not saying you should do this, I’m just saying that you can. One last thing: don't go see the Mona Lisa. The only reason everyone goes to see the Mona Lisa is because everyone goes to see the Mona Lisa. It’s like a Kardashian, famous just because it’s famous. It is much smaller than you’d expect, and the crowd around it is insane. That being said, feel free to go see the Mona Lisa. I just want to make sure you know it’s generally underwhelming.

5. Musee de l’Orangerie. This museum is in the Tuileries Gardens. It pretty much only has Monet’s water lilies, which are room-sized paintings. I’m not convinced it’s worth the visit or the 9 euros. I’d suggest google-imaging and trip advisor-ing it to see if you’re interested. I’m just mentioning it because it’s close, popular, and would be easy to hit while you’re in this part of town.
6. Bagelstein. This is yummy and inexpensive, and if you need a good, cheap meal at any point in this CRAZY FUN day.

Champs Elysees and the Eighth Arrondissement

This part of town is near the First Arrondissement, only a short bop over from the Tuileries Gardens through the Place de la Concorde (just a plaza with a big thing in the middle).

1. Champs Elysees. This is one of the most famous streets in the world. It’s full of shopping—H&M is my favorite—and the Arc de Triomphe is at the end.

2. “Eh”: Arc de Triomphe is beautiful and famous, but all you can do is look at it and take pictures, just fyi. Also “eh,” Laduree is a crazy famous Parisian bakery, known especially for their macaroons, and the location here on the Champs Elysees I think is the flagship. I hate to be that person (do I?), but it is my professional opinion that it’s 70% hype. The macaroons are yummy, as are the other treats, and it’s probably fun to have tea here (after a two-hour wait), but I don’t find it any more delectable than any other place in Paris. Also, Laduree now has locations in every other major city, so you’ll have the opportunity to buy overpriced macaroons anywhere else in the world!

Montmartre

I feel the need to tell you about this part of town, so here’s this.

1. I haven’t spent nearly as much time in this neighborhood as I would like. Trip Advisor calls it “a corner of Paris full of life and dynamism with charms that can’t be found anywhere else.” I have no good recommendations for this area as far as cute shops or food, but something tells me that a walk down the street or a quick search on travel blogs will give perfect recommendations.
2. Sacre Coeur. Montmartre is north of the center of Paris, in the 18th arrondissement, and this church can be seen atop its hill from many places in the city. It’s huge and beautiful in its location way up on the hill, with free entrance. The view over the city is cool, and you may be able to go up in the dome, I’m not sure.

Also, Le Pain Quotidien is a great cafe. You can find locations throughout Paris, so it may be helpful to look up locations close to your destination for that day and grab lunch or dinner there. You’ll see satellite locations all over the world, so it’s fun to have gone in Paris!

The only other must-see is the Eiffel Tower, which I don’t have much to say about. I’ve never been up the elevator, so I can’t tell you much about that. There’s a big grassy area in front that you can hang out in. Maybe find a breakfast place nearby, or go at sunset and get dessert or dinner after.

I just googled Top Things to Do in Paris, and the first eleven on Google’s list I’ve listed here! And the next 10 or so were generally insignificant and would be hard to hit in one weekend. Sorry I haven’t listed more restaurants, but I’ve given you all the ones I’d definitely recommend. Trip Advisor is always my favorite place to find restaurants, because the reviews give you a good idea of what you’re getting yourself into. Trip Advisor also makes it easy to narrow options down by location, cost, or cuisine type.

For transportation, I’m always a fan of the subway, and in Paris it's just fine. You can always taxi, uber, or take the bus. I find the bus a little confusing, but it’s cheap, and usually people on the bus speak English and will help you get where you need to be (I say usually, I’ve only ridden it once, but people were helpful then). Once you get to an area, you’ll often be able to walk to the other attractions from that first one, so also feel free to subway or uber/taxi, whichever you’re more comfortable with. The best way to do this is to look up the directions to/from all your locations on google maps and screenshot them while you’re still at the hotel (aka while you still have wifi), which prevents you from using data for directions.

Writing: Thoughts on Nonfiction

Hey. Here's another post about something that relates to me. Sometimes I wonder if this blog isn't accessible because I write about myself so much. The writer of a good blog writes about themself in a way that universalizes their experience for a wider angle of the human experience. I'm not really sure that I do that.

Although I want to fix it, and I hope that I fix it as I write more, I also am the only reader of this blog. In that sense, then, my writings are doing exactly what they're supposed to—serve as a resource for me.

The genre of the book that I'm writing is nonfiction. Zinsser's book On Writing Well claims that nonfiction is just as valid a mode of writing as any other genre. I hadn't necessarily doubted this, but it was nice to hear. Zinsser gave the history of this preference, which was interesting. Americans stopped preferring the novel after WWII and the increase in television, and "[o]vernight, America became a fact-minded nation" (97). Because of this, the genre most demanded by the American people is nonfiction.

That preference is convenient for me, because the genre I'm interested in writing is nonfiction. I didn't realize the extreme difference between fiction and nonfiction until my first assignment was due in my Creative Writing Fiction class. Even though the class was called Fiction Workshop, I hadn't realized that I had to cover the page with words for a story completely made up from nothing. It was remarkably hard. I ended up writing a story about how hard it was to be a writer, which is exactly not the point. Fiction is supposed to be about real people. That story, I suppose, was about me—a real person—but I was getting too close to nonfiction. So I discovered my preference for nonfiction through a fiction class.

So I liked this chapter in On Writing Well because it gave so much validity to nonfiction. Zinsser writes that "the great preponderance of what writers now write and sell, what book and magazine publishers publish and what readers demand is nonfiction" (97). So I'll finish out with two other quotations from the book about nonfiction:

"there's no area of life—present or past—that isn't made accessible to ordinary readers by men and women writing with high seriousness and grace. Add to this literature of fact all the disciplines that were once regarded as academic, like anthropology and economics and social history, that have become the domain of nonfiction writers and of broadly curious readers" (98).

"Ultimately every writer must follow the path that feels most comfortable. For most people learning to write, that path is nonfiction. It enables them to write about what they know or can observe or can find out . . . They will write far more willingly about subjects that touch their own lives or that they have an aptitude for. Motivation is at the heart of writing. If nonfiction is where you do your best writing, or your best teaching of writing, don't be buffaloed into the idea that it's an inferior species. The only important distinction is between good and bad writing. Good writing is good writing, whatever form it takes and whatever we call it" (99).